It’s fig season so there’s figs flying all over the place.
Just in my immediate orbit here without altering my routine at all, I can grab from six separate fig trees. Actually nine, let’s not split hairs though. We are drying some, but we keep forgetting to check/empty the drier so they turn into pebbles instead of dried figs. (Bestemmia 1)
If I step outside my front door and walk maybe 20 steps, boom – like 30 fresh figs easy peasy any time slip’n’slide. The word fig in Italian is figa, however, it has another (vulgar) meaning which has taken over the four letters completely it seems. And now, near as I can tell no one ever says figa — instead they say ‘figo’; which actually means fig tree but the world in which we live is you-know-how-it-is. (Bestemmia 2)
Furthermore, in the preceding months here, I have unfortunately developed a taste for pasta and risotto which includes both savory and sweet flavors. I was adding diced apples to pesto-type flavor wads, but I tried it with golden plums when the plums were hot to trot, and now … yes … figs.
I cut them into 6 pieces and it’s great with pepperoni/ricotta pesto. If anybody wants the recipe for my gororoba let me know I guess – it’s not complex. It’s essentially bachelor chow on cocaine. But I have to be careful who I tell about the figs-in-the-pasta because most Italians would immediately grab me by the throat and chuck me off the nearest bridge. And there’s bridges all over the place … anyhow that’s (Bestemmia 3)
By the way, me describing my cooking means I’m being mercilessly subsumed into the Italian Borg. It’s happening right before your very eyes.
The ironic thing is … and I have to whisper this or the entire world-class Italian national culinary strategy grinds to a screeching halt, crumples into a Rumplestiltskin, sucks into a black hole, vaults the platform without the bungee cord attached, pulverizes into seven states of oblivion …
… tomatoes are a fruit.
Henceforth, let the wailing and widespread lamentations in conjunction with severe self-flagellations begin in earnest (Bestemmia 4)
Crap, now I have to draw a picture or something, I guess. No this is the first one – technically a test, so … use an old thing I drew.
How about the throwback Po
